Regrets
by Livdarcy
Summary: ONE SHOT. Darcy thinks that Elizbeth does not love him, and that the engagement is only out of gratitude. Elizabeth soon sets him right


Regrets

This is a one shot

What if Elizabeth really did not love me? What if this whole engagement was out of gratitude? I could not let Elizabeth marry me if it were so, even if it would break my heart. I would rather have her happy and married, with someone she did love, rather than stuck in a marriage based on gratitude. Although perhaps with time she would learn to love me like I loved her, but it is probably too much to ask. I can never expect her to return my love; I ruined my chances even before I knew her name. A thing I greatly regret, but alas even I can not turn back time.

I would do it today I would break my engagement with Elizabeth, nothing could change my mind. It is a thing I must do; even if my heart feels like its breaking.

Bingley and I are on our way to Longbourn, and Mr Bingley is eager to see Miss Bennet. I am as equally eager to see Elizabeth, but the thing I must do has dampened my spirits considerably. I would never regret our engagement; it gave me a chance to be near her, to let myself believe she loved me. This is not enough anymore, I need to hear those three little words from her beautiful mouth "I love you", but I know she will never say them, and I can not bear to think she will be trapped in a marriage were she did not love and respect her partner. Yes she respected me, but she did not love me. What would I say when we reached Longbourn? May I request an audience with Miss Elizabeth? No to formal. Elizabeth may I speak with you at once? No to demanding. Oh it was no use, I will decide when we reach Longbourn, and while I was thinking about what to say, I had not realised we had reached Longbourn.

My heart suddenly filled with loss, even more painful than when she first rejected I knew why. She had showed she cared for me a little, and now I knew what I would be missing out on when our engagement ended. I knew that when she did marry, it would break me but it must be. I would watch her get married, my heart breaking in two, one piece going to Elizabeth, and one piece staying but would have a constant ache. But I would grin and bear it; I would not ruin her happiness. With that thought I strode purposely into Longbourn, with Bingley looking absolutely astonished.

"Eager to see Miss Elizabeth, are we Darcy?"

I closed my eyes in pain, this would probably the last time I saw her for months, and I had to make the most of it.

"Yes, Bingley"

I took a deep breath, I could do this. Hill escorted to the parlour, but I stopped when I heard Mrs Bennet

"Oh Lizzy, you are a sly thing. Catching Mr Darcy and I had no idea"

"Mama"

"Of course you do not love him, that much is obvious"

"Mama! I will speak to you on this matter later"

"I believe he does love you though Lizzy. It's still obvious though that you detest him greatly"

I could not stay to hear Lizzy's reply. I quickly turned to Bingley whose mouth was open in shock.

"Bingley I must go I cannot stay here"

"Yes Darcy. What shall I tell Miss Bennet?"

Tell her that I love her, and I always will

"Tell her….. I lo…You will think of something"

"Yes certainly Darcy."

With that I turned and left I could not stay here, apparently I was wrong when I said she even cared for me a little. She did not care for me at all, and that hurt a lot.

I got on my horse, and went were my heart told me to go, Mount Oakum. Place were Lizzy had taken me a week after our engagement. We stayed here for hours just talking and holding each others hands. This was also were I first kissed her, and it was the last to. I would treasure it forever.

"**Mr Darcy, I heard Miss Bingley mumbling about fine eyes, and about how Mr Darcy likes them. Can you tell me who she was talking about?"**

"**This I cannot tell you. It is a secret"**

"**You have a secret with Miss Bingley that you do not wish to tell your fiancé"**

"**My fiancé would laugh at me"**

"**She would not! Please tell me"**

"**Elizabeth, she was talking about you"**

"**You think I have fine eyes"**

"**No you have beautiful eyes, a beautiful mouth, beautiful hair, everything about you is beautiful"**

**She blushed so becomingly I could not help but move forward, and brush my lips against hers**

"William"

I turned around instantly, and saw Elizabeth standing behind me with a very concerned look on her face.

"Yes Elizabeth"

"Why did you leave?"

"I needed some fresh air"

"Then why did you not ask me to come?"

"I had heard what your mother said"

"Oh no!" she rushed to my side, but I moved away. I could not be near her. It would only stop me from doing what I had to do. I sat down on the seat, and took a deep breath

"Elizabeth"

She sat down next to me

"Elizabeth, if you do not love me. I feel it is my duty to release you from this engagement, I can not see you unhapp….Elizabeth what are youuu doing?" I asked hoarsely.

She had taken my hand in her gloveless one, and was stroking it.

"Please continue William"

"Elizabeth, if you do detest as much as your mother says tell me so at once. If you do I cannot marry you"

Then suddenly she started to kiss my hand, placing gentle tender kisses all over it, inside my palm, on the top of my hand everywhere. My heart stopped beating.

What did she mean by this?

"Elizabeth what are you doing?"

"Kissing your hand"

"Yes, but why?"

"Because I love you, and I want to show you how much I care"

My sped up, she loved me!

"You love me, I cannot believe it"

"You were never supposed to hear what my mama said. She was speaking without thinking; she can be very thoughtless sometimes. But she has been informed that I love you whole heartedly from myself, Jane and my father. Mr Darcy I've loved at least since when we met a Pemberley. I did not wish to admit, but I was attracted to you when I first saw you at the assembly rooms. But when you made it clear you had no interest in me, I decided to dislike you"

"Really? I am sorry Elizabeth, if only I would have known!"

"Yes, but William it does not help to dwell on the past. Just think about what we have now. I do love you so William"

"I love you to Elizabeth, so very much"

I felt so happy that I thought my heart would explode.

I gently took her hands in my face, and did what I'd been longing to do again for so long. I kissed her, and it felt like I was finally home

Well I hope you all enjoyed this!

I would greatly appreciate it if you dropped a review, and tell me if you liked it or disliked it.


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